My 8th Blog Anniversary : Now and Then

Tomorrow marks the eight year since I first clicked that Post button and boy oh boy it has been a journey. I started this blog with my sister eight years ago when we were still in uni and I'm happy to report that we are still the best-est friend. Though we parted ways in blogsphere, we are still very much in each other' life these days. 

But anyway, ever since I past my five years mark, I've always wanted to go the full ten years. It sounds weird but it's kinda my obsession. I seriously want to see and compare how my style and writing has evolved in the course of ten years. 

ABOUT LIFE :

This blog has been a sole witness of literally everything that happens in my life. I'm not a very open person. And I know that is the most ironic thing you have ever heard. A blogger who is secretive. What I mean is, I have been very particular in what I share in this blog. Not only that, I know that everything you put online is going to last a lifetime so I make sure that each sentence is something that I won't be afraid to share to everyone in my life. 

But like I said, I'm not a very open person so you might not noticed anything but with every single post, I remember what circumstances I was the time I was writing the post. Either how sad I was, how depressed I was, or how ecstatic I was, how excited I was, how in love I was; and truly, this post has been the most therapeutic outlet for all those emotions. There's just something so soothing about typing something; anything, even when it's not about how you feel.

Looking back and reading a few of my old post; not only a serious cringe-worthy pastime activity, but I also have a sense of pride about how far I have come. Not only in blogging department, but in life. Eight years ago I was undeniably single, going from one blind date to another, hated reading the bible, avoiding prayer groups like it's a plague, and cried my self to sleep countless times just because of the loneliness and the emptiness. I was in the brink of depression; furthermore with my thesis, which was one of the worst year in my life but what I did I wrote? I wrote about frivolous thing like how I love the morning scent; mentioning my thesis only ever so briefly. It sounds crazy but that showed how I'm not the most open person. 

Fast forward eight years later, I am in a much better place emotionally. I found God, and still finding and discovering Him, actually. But my encounter with His presence turned my life for the better. I still have bad days but the intensity and the quantity has decreased exponentially. And those dark shadows have been kept at bay. These days I woke up feeling refreshed and genuinely excited to go on my day. As contrast to eight years go where I just don't see the point of living. And yes, I am well aware that I was depressed. And no, I didn't get help, which was not wise, but I was ashamed about being depressed hence I am so *so* blessed that God decided to meet me halfway.  If you are in a bad place right now (I'm not saying my life is perfect either here) talking about it helps. And if you can't talk about it, writing about it helps too. Or in my case, not writing about it, but write about something else. LOL. But most definitely, praying about it is really good for your soul. 

ABOUT THIS BLOG :

Now that we got the sappy sentimental paragraphs out of the way, I am also really proud about how far this blog has come. I still remember very vividly how my sister and I asked for a friend (which was also a neighbour; hi Ralf!) to help us find an affordable DSLR camera. He was really really nice and not only he helped us chose a camera, he also accompanied us to buy said camera, and taught us how to use it (I still have that Nikon D5000). Come to think of it, this blog would never ever happened if it wasn't for him. So sincerely, from the deepest of my heart, thank you Mr. Ralf! We don't talk anymore but I still follow him on instagram and his videography blown my mind. 

Eight years ago, you were served with out-of-focus, often too dark and not less often, over exposed pictures. I think the pics got better in the past four years... I think. I mean I probably posted an over exposed pic, but I was aware and apologised to you guys for it so yeah . . . But I promised, no more over or under exposed photographs from now on. You can count on me about that. I was also really sporadic when it comes to editing pics. I have now, for the past three years, stick to a specific set of actions in my photoshop and I have been really liking it so far. I kinda want it to be like a signature for this blog.

Eight years ago, I blogged all about my outfit. And meanwhile I don't regret that and an outfit post is still my favourite type of post, now I'm expanding. I write about my travel, about new restaurants in town, some bag reviews, and the newest : a monthly favourite post. I'm still racking my brain trying to figure out a new type of post this year. I'm thinking about a wishlist for maybe every season. Or maybe sort of like "best purchases in May" or something like that. Or even, about another passion that I have, BOOKS. Now, I have been pending posting about books because I don't read that often. I have been pretty good in the past three years by reading a book/month but that's pretty much it. Do let me know which one you're most interested in : a seasonal wishlist, a monthly best buy, or a monthly book review?

While I do feel like my blog is not as successful as I'd imagined it to be, I'm still very much love posting in this little corner of internet. And I didn't start out wanting to monetise this blog anyway. I was in a very dark lost place and somehow this blog ground me to real life. I certainly didn't imagine I would still be blogging eight years later. I seriously thought I would post for a year and then just deleted it. My blog may not be the most stylish, the most popular, or even that good, but it's mine, and I like that fact. This blog is my voice, my thoughts (how random they might be), and unapologetically me. 

Last but surely not least, I want to thank each one of you who is currently reading (and made it to the end of this post, yeay you!) this post; this blog, you guys are truly amazing. If you're just starting out blogging, good for you! It's a great community and it's something that I feel like someone should try at least once. Running a blog not only makes you more aware about your surroundings (you need to take good pic and take note about how good your food taste!) , it also makes you humble. There is always always someone who is better. And yet, it also teaches me to "just keep swimming", keep creating contents, and stay true to you really are. Because authenticity is the only thing that makes other people connect to you and in the end, we are just human, craving for connections; for someone else that understands.

Anyway, thank you once again for reading. It is one heck of a long post and I promise I won't make it a habit. Wishing everyone a great start of the week!