Smell of Death

"In hospitals, they say you know. You know when you're going to die. Some doctors say it's a look patients get in their eyes. Some say there's a scent, the smell of death. Some think there's just some kind of sixth sense. When the great beyond is heading for you, you feel it coming.

Whatever it is, it's creepy. Because if you know.. what do you do about it?"

Meredith Grey - Grey's Anatomy Season 2

My dog died yesterday morning. He lived up to his name, Double Happiness George (as written in his certificate). He doubled, no, even tripled my happiness. I was shocked since he looked better when I visited him at the vet the day before he died.  I cried myself to sleep yesterday. I got teary eyes when someone asked about what happened to him. I couldn't smile. I felt like crap. I felt like the weather that day, dark and gloomy. I guess I would be lying to myself if I didn't know that death was a possibility. I have been forcing smiles and laughs all the time he was sick. He threw up everything that went in his tiny body for four days. He was infused for two days but even that didn't help. What makes me really sad was the fact I wasn't there when he died. I really want to think I had given him his best shot to heal, you know. I am not convinced until now. There will always be a part of me that ask "what if". Even the doctor didn't know what happened..

All I know is now I'm letting go. You did good, boy. You did good. Sleep tight, now.

Last picture we took together. Day two when he was sick.

Look 29 from 30

I wore no. 6 + 19, hat - CottonOn, bag - vintage, grey oxfords - Marks&Spencer





Look 30 from 30

I wore no. 28, belt - HongKong, loafers - Bellagio




Life goes on. Births and deaths are part of life. Although there is no heaven/hell for dogs, the thought that he feels no pain anymore soothe me a little bit. My heart still aches every time I remember him. The aches will linger on, I'm sure. But I also believe it will hurt less and less as time goes on. Besides, what was the saying? Time heals all wounds. So today I'm going to smile and laugh and letting go.

I'm sorry if this post is so forlorn and solemn. Good news is, I finished my remixing challenge. I miss my entire closet. Saw all my 30 looks here. Have a good night.


24 comments:

  1. thats so sad almost made me cry it is always a terrible thing when you lose your best friend! stay strong darling
    Xoxo Ilana

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  2. I am so sorry to hear of your loss :(
    Try to remember all the wonderful memories you had together!!
    xxx

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  3. i know its hard to let him go dear, my cat have died last month and now i still crying if i remember him :"( but we have to let them go to a better place,right? :)

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  4. aaa poor you :((
    you're dog is sooo cute!

    btw cute as always klove your hearty shirts!

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  5. aaa poor you :((
    you're dog is sooo cute!

    btw cute as always klove your hearty shirts!

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  6. I'm so sorry about your loss, dear. The only reason that stop for having another pet is because I'm so gonna be crazy if it died. I cry like a baby when my hamsters died and my dog's gone. So yeah, deep condolences. Stay strong. He's on the better place now, I'm sure :)

    Come and hail to my cruise~
    Ahoy,Keenan!

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  7. I read your sister's post yesterday and I cried. But when I read your post it makes me cry again. I love dogs too. And it really is painful to lose a pet. I am proud that you are starting to feel better now dear. I pray for your happiness. =')


    http://sassychunny.blogspot.com/

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  8. I love dogs too, and I also cried when they died.
    Cheer up girls! don't be sad! *but when I read your post, I feel so sad too :'(

    Wulan Wu on http://bootsydoopsy.blogspot.com

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  9. i feel sorry for your dog :( i used to have hamsters and when every single of them died,i cried too :'(

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  10. i feel sorry for your dog :( i used to have hamsters and when every single of them died,i cried too :'(

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  11. Aw! *Hugs* I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Keep your head up.

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  15. So sorry about your dog :( it is always sad to see someone so special leave us. Otherwise, cheer up beautiful! E.

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  16. I hope I can find the words to console you but all I can come up with is I'm sorry for your loss. Such a dear dog and I think he is in a better place now.

    Kathy
    http://mypeachdays.blogspot.com

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  17. So sorry for your loss and I'm not sure what your faith is but mine tells me that I'll see my little fur balls that I loved and took care of again someday if there is a place that we go when we die, otherwise, what's the point. I lost my cat a few months ago and it really is the most painful thing in the world. Your little one was so precious! Time will heal the wound but your litle one will always have your mind and your heart :)

    www.plentyforpennies.blogspot.com

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  18. so sorry for your dog (((

    you look very nice

    check out my blog and, if you want, let's follow each other on GFC or Bloglovin' or both ;)

    www.LAByDiana.com

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  19. So sorry for your lost :( But I'm sure your dog will be just fine in heaven, Cheersss :)
    I love your colar necklace by the way!

    xx
    www.crunchycheeseme.blogspot.com

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  20. Dogs are more like a friend to me although it can't talk but their gesture represent more then it feelings
    I believe he is in better place now
    Cheer up Tepi

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  21. Hello..
    Me too, I lost my lovely dog a week ago. I really didn't know that coming~

    I know how you feel, I still cry, and what makes it worse, he didn't die because of illness...

    Anyways, I hope you'll get better soon.

    http://picturexrain.blogspot.fi/

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